I Got a Colonic And It Brought Out The Worst In Me (literally).


Who wants to talk about colonics?! Probably no one. But sometimes I like to think that’s why I’m here in the TOMBOY Beauty realm, to facilitate conversation around important topics, like LGBTQI+ rights, racism, sexism, and having a woman you’ve never met put a tube up your bottom to eliminate excess waste (code for old poop) in the name of a story.

I’ll admit, I volunteered to cover this story. I grew up in a famously ‘hippie’ beach town, ok.  And here I am today @ To Wonderland Wellness Spa to experience my very first colonic. I am excited, though everyone else is telling me to be afraid, be very afraid.

Colonic for dummies? It’s basically a non-evasive water therapy, in which temperature controlled filtered water gently enters through the rectum and goes into the entire colon where it softens faecal matter. This aids in cleansing the colon by flushing out old toxins such as Candida, parasites, mucus, undigested food particles whilst also eliminating gas. The colon is literally 6 feet long, so the average person can carry several kilos of old matter in their colon – don’t blame you if you just Vommmed. In. Mouth! Which can have been accumulated from weeks, months days or even years.

With this knowledge, I felt ready for my first treatment, which was performed by my therapist, Evie. Sparing you the semi-gnarly details, Evie lead me into a private, very lush looking room and told me to undress my bottom half and lie on the bed. The treatment was performed with a ‘closed system’ which is where the elimination process is done with a therapist present at all times, assisting you in the ‘elimination’ by giving your belly a gentle massage and conducting it in intervals, for comfort and safety reasons. After my treatment, which was expected levels of weird, Evie made me feel as at ease as you can be, after having a tube up your butt and it’s excavating whatever may be lurking.

Right after my treatment, I did feel lighter. I also felt like my eyes were clearer and weirdly, I noticed the tiny fine lines on my forehead, more due to dehydration than aging, were less obvs.

If that’s not enough to have you high-tailing it to book in for one ASAP, I sat down with Adie Robertson, founder of To Wonderland, to explain the actual benefits.


TB: Why is there fear/embarrassment around colonics?

AR: I think there is a bit of a myth that they are dangerous, even my mother thinks they are dangerous. Because there is the risk of a perforated bowel, but we operate a closed system as you know, where there is no risk of that happening. There was an incident where that happened once (not at To Wonderland) and it’s a risk when it’s an open system, so you’re putting in the tube yourself and doing it all yourself. When you do that, there’s not much way of knowing what’s happening. With a closed system, you have the therapist with you at all times, it’s very safe, it’s a speculum that’s only inserted into the rectum a few centimetres and then the filtered water is gently flushed into the colon, and as the pressure builds with gas or faecal matter, the pressure gauge rises on the machine and the therapist can see when it’s time to release it, and then it’s a very gentle release with the abdominal massage which makes the elimination far more effective.

People don’t really want to talk about colonics, but I witness the transformation that comes with them every day and I just sit in gratitude to be able to hold this space of wellness. It’s so much more than going to the toilet, it’s going into your gut and clearing it out. 95% of stress, emotional stress, old matter, is flushing it out which can be so transformative.

Cleaning the colon wall also makes your nutrient absorption more effective.  I liken it to plaque on your teeth, which you need to get cleaned off, so when you’re flushing the colon wall it makes things far more effective. It also flushes out bad bacteria, like candida and parasites that can be trapped in there. Another myth is that it’s not good to flush the bad bacteria, but when you do so it lets the good bacteria proliferate, encouraging good bacteria to thrive.


TB: would you say it’s one of the most effective ways to detox?

AR: It definitely assists with it! You’re clearing the gut. The colon is 6 feet long, so it can actually take a few sessions to get up to the transverse colon, which will contain any number of old matter, which has been held up by gas and all sorts of problems. Often people with skin conditions will see immediate results. There’s an instant flush of hydration that goes into their face straight after their sessions.


TB: You said that it clears out all bacteria, even the good bacteria? What can we do to replenish that?

AR: Take a probiotic. We encourage everyone to take a probiotic, avoid sugar, eat lightly, stay well hydrated. Coming in here is a nice time to change your habits and that’s all it is, it’s just a reminder to reset. It’s great for weight loss and bloating. And when you’re on a maintenance program, your colon has muscle memory, so after you’ve had a series of colonics you can get them every month or few months and the colon will actually know what to do after that.


TB: Are there any other benefits we should know about?

AR: Anxiety. So many young women come in with terrible anxiety, it’s so prevalent at the moment, but what colonics do is it’s literally dumping the stress out of your body. Sometimes it’s instant, sometimes it takes a few sessions for it to subside, but their energy totally changes after a session.