Considering a juice cleanse? One editor’s very honest account.
I liken juice cleansing to that meme that has done the rounds on social media about the creative process: This is awesome, this is tricky, this is shit, I am shit, this might be ok, this is awesome…
No pain no gain, right?
Goal: Kick start the health kick after too much indulging.
The Lowdown: NIL-by-mouth, specifically my mouth, for three days with the exception of two tonics, six cold pressed juices and two litres of water/day. Read: A lot of bathroom trips.
This is awesome….
Day one is a breeze; the juices are delicious, I am excited about consuming charcoal for the first time because, health benefits. I feel lighter and brighter and have no problem telling whoever will listen how easy it is. I secretly feel a sense of personal elevation because I’m voluntarily doing something good for my body, ‘they’re eating, I’m not – I win!’ A thought process uncharacteristic but potentially resultant of the toxins expelling themselves from my blood stream and attacking my brain.
This is tricky, this is shit…
Day two starts to get a bit trickier. As I walk past the café next door to the Pressed Juices flagship store in Mosman on my way to pick up my day-two juices, I smell bacon and a little bit of me dies inside. Probably my stomach shrinking because I don’t actually like bacon. The store is beautiful and it’s polished concrete floors, high-ceilings and Scandi styling make it easy to drive the long way to work. Lunch time in the office is shit! Lichi senses my mood, and offers me a dumpling, I decline and accidentally eat a mint from my drawer instead. The Slippery Elm, my PM tonic does little to lift my spirits. I am texture-sensitive and it is as slippery as it’s name suggests. Cue: gag-reflex.
I am shit, this might be ok…
It’s day three and the headache that everyone*, even Pressed Juices in-store Nutritionist, Jen warned me could occurs. As I get dressed in slow-mo, I make a mental note to drink more water today, although instantly doubt my capacity to do so. At a work meeting over lunch at Saké I sip on my Greens 6 without so much as poking my chopsticks at the Beef Tataki. The headache has subsided though and my stomach feels flatter. I drink a Zest 3 (currently not available, due to seasonality) on the way home from the office, it’s by far my favourite juice with all its bitter grapefruit goodness. At 6:30pm, to avoid confrontation with my boyfriend who made only one request, “Please leave the ‘hangry’ at the office”. I put myself to bed feeling exhausted and slightly accomplished.
This is awesome…
It is day-four and the juice cleanse is officially over. I jump on the scales and am elated to see a decrease. I am 2.2kg lighter. The mild torture is forgotten and I think to myself, I’d do that again. The super quick weight loss is motivation to keep the health ball rolling.
*Everyone has an opinion on juice cleansing. EVERYONE! Everyone’s experiences do differ. Mine did, the second time round. Part 2 coming soon.
Words: Chloe Brinklow // Photography: Lichi Pan